I love this essay, Olivia, and super coincidentally was listening to Van Morrison already while reading. Manifesting those romcom moments!
My outlook now is that though life is long, life can be short. I don’t care how trite it is to work to make life magical and romantic even when it feels like the millionth time we’ve experienced that part of our routine. It’s like dancing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, post-dinner snack runs for late night movie treats, driving a different route home so you can listen to that same song on repeat a few more times, or that first coffee on the sofa once you’ve changed into your lounging pyjamas. It’s all beautiful in its own low stakes yet pleasure-centric and small celebrations kind of way. As my husband’s grandmother told me earlier this year, “It’s not just choosing joy, it’s choosing life. You’re making the most of what you’ve got while you’ve got it.”
We’ve got to give ourselves permission to create our own glimmers and to share that with other people, too. Making the ordinary extraordinary is a precious gift we can give to ourselves and to others. It really does feel like that ‘la dolce vita’ energy -- drinking the good wine at home in the yard or on the stoop, smelling blossoms on the air, switching on the fairy lights, and adding more cheese to the cheese board.
Well it makes me happy I’m not the only person who had Mandy Moore-aspirations as a teen 😂
I love your ritual of beautifying the experience of making a new recipe. A therapist once told me that you have to figure out how to dress up the small moments so you have parts of your daily routine to look forward to.
That scene in Because I Said So also informed so much of what my alone time as an adult looks like!!! I made a playlist inspired by that scene for when I cook pasta specifically lol. There's an essence about it that stuck with me since 2007. Also the famous scene from The Holiday where Cameron Diaz goes grocery shopping in England then comes home to put on the coziest warmest clothes and drinks wine and eats dinner and dances by herself. I feel like there are very few scenes of women enjoying themselves alone (even though in both cases they're actually supposed to be depressed about their loneliness).
Yes to romanticizing your life! I love this concept of “little luxuries.” I think for me it’s always been beach scenes/houses in movies - a Nancy Meyers’ kitchen is always great. 😊 There’s that feeling of coziness that I’m always looking to bring more of into my life.
Hi Olivia! You're new to me (a new BOP listener) and this substack is new to me as of this post. And I just want to say, I LIKE YOU. And I like this post a lot. I do so many of these little 'make it special' things, too. I spend hours lining my Christmas card envelopes with a pretty wrapping paper even if most people hold the envelope for two seconds then throw it away. It means something to me, and sometimes that's all that counts. ❤️
Apparently I'm not the only person who was permanently imprinted upon by that scene. My absolute favorite thing to make when I'm home alone is an indulgent bowl of pasta and I'm pretty sure it was 100% informed by that movie. I totally agree I didn't for one second feel like the scene was sad, it was honestly aspirational and while my apartment looks nothing like Mandy Moore's Bohemian, Venice beach cottage I am consistently channeling that energy : )
Love this, Olivia. I do this too, to an extent, but I feel like you just gave me permission to do it bigger and better.
You made me think of two things: one, that Mandy Moore is also central to one of my formative moments — there was some magazine interview where she said she didn't get boobs until she was like, 20. I remember thinking there was still hope for me (note I am literally 3 months younger than her). Also, re: contacts, the other worst adult task is remembering to take my daily use contacts out before bed, but I ~elevated~ it by putting a tiny pretty dish on my nightstand that houses my discarded contacts. I am disgusting but at least it's pretty.
Thanks so much for this thoughtful essay, Olivia. I haven't seen this movie in such a long time but once you started mentioning all of the elements that captivated you, I felt myself transported back in time when I first saw this movie and was equally entranced by the clothes, homes, and charm. I struggle to romanticize my life and often wonder how to make my own life more joyful and intentional. Your essay has paved a path towards helping me understand a little better how to do that. Also, my Mandy Moore aspirations live on to this day, ha!
I love to plan out outfits in my head...haha...often overdressed but one of the few things I don't feel a need to apologize for. Also, I love to look around my home and know that everything there is something I bought/loved/was given, etc...not because a decorator put it there or I thought I should buy for a special "look" but not really reflective of who I am. Anyway...loved this post.
I love this essay, Olivia, and super coincidentally was listening to Van Morrison already while reading. Manifesting those romcom moments!
My outlook now is that though life is long, life can be short. I don’t care how trite it is to work to make life magical and romantic even when it feels like the millionth time we’ve experienced that part of our routine. It’s like dancing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, post-dinner snack runs for late night movie treats, driving a different route home so you can listen to that same song on repeat a few more times, or that first coffee on the sofa once you’ve changed into your lounging pyjamas. It’s all beautiful in its own low stakes yet pleasure-centric and small celebrations kind of way. As my husband’s grandmother told me earlier this year, “It’s not just choosing joy, it’s choosing life. You’re making the most of what you’ve got while you’ve got it.”
We’ve got to give ourselves permission to create our own glimmers and to share that with other people, too. Making the ordinary extraordinary is a precious gift we can give to ourselves and to others. It really does feel like that ‘la dolce vita’ energy -- drinking the good wine at home in the yard or on the stoop, smelling blossoms on the air, switching on the fairy lights, and adding more cheese to the cheese board.
It makes me think of About Time as well 🥹🥰.
This comment gave me chills, and reminded me of so many good things in life, including but not limited to ABOUT TIME. What a lovely film.
Thank you for reading and sharing your lovely thoughts/feelings with me/us <3
Well it makes me happy I’m not the only person who had Mandy Moore-aspirations as a teen 😂
I love your ritual of beautifying the experience of making a new recipe. A therapist once told me that you have to figure out how to dress up the small moments so you have parts of your daily routine to look forward to.
Sri, I'm right with you in this! Still have Mandy Moore-aspirations xx
I want to co-sign the idea of things that enter our psyche at 14. For me it was: Dirty Dancing, Bull Durham, The Fabulous Baker Boys, Heathers.
Heathers! Yes. I was also a big fan of Grease and Xanadu. And Esprit.
That scene in Because I Said So also informed so much of what my alone time as an adult looks like!!! I made a playlist inspired by that scene for when I cook pasta specifically lol. There's an essence about it that stuck with me since 2007. Also the famous scene from The Holiday where Cameron Diaz goes grocery shopping in England then comes home to put on the coziest warmest clothes and drinks wine and eats dinner and dances by herself. I feel like there are very few scenes of women enjoying themselves alone (even though in both cases they're actually supposed to be depressed about their loneliness).
Yes! This scene!❤️
Yes! That is also SUCH a formative scene!!! You're so right.
Yes to romanticizing your life! I love this concept of “little luxuries.” I think for me it’s always been beach scenes/houses in movies - a Nancy Meyers’ kitchen is always great. 😊 There’s that feeling of coziness that I’m always looking to bring more of into my life.
Hi Olivia! You're new to me (a new BOP listener) and this substack is new to me as of this post. And I just want to say, I LIKE YOU. And I like this post a lot. I do so many of these little 'make it special' things, too. I spend hours lining my Christmas card envelopes with a pretty wrapping paper even if most people hold the envelope for two seconds then throw it away. It means something to me, and sometimes that's all that counts. ❤️
This made me smile. Thank you so much.
And I love that detail about the Christmas cards! So special!
Apparently I'm not the only person who was permanently imprinted upon by that scene. My absolute favorite thing to make when I'm home alone is an indulgent bowl of pasta and I'm pretty sure it was 100% informed by that movie. I totally agree I didn't for one second feel like the scene was sad, it was honestly aspirational and while my apartment looks nothing like Mandy Moore's Bohemian, Venice beach cottage I am consistently channeling that energy : )
There's a lot of us, apparently!!!
Love this, Olivia. I do this too, to an extent, but I feel like you just gave me permission to do it bigger and better.
You made me think of two things: one, that Mandy Moore is also central to one of my formative moments — there was some magazine interview where she said she didn't get boobs until she was like, 20. I remember thinking there was still hope for me (note I am literally 3 months younger than her). Also, re: contacts, the other worst adult task is remembering to take my daily use contacts out before bed, but I ~elevated~ it by putting a tiny pretty dish on my nightstand that houses my discarded contacts. I am disgusting but at least it's pretty.
Loved this post! I'm dying to pull your astrology birth chart. This scream Pisces sentimentality and Taurus luxury.
Hahaha, oh my gosh, I think you're right!! I need to go check my birth time...
Glad to know ordering contacts with overnight shipping is a known problem. This made me cackle. Love this essay Olivia ❤️
And I AM so glad that someone else gets this. I thought it was just me!
Thanks so much for this thoughtful essay, Olivia. I haven't seen this movie in such a long time but once you started mentioning all of the elements that captivated you, I felt myself transported back in time when I first saw this movie and was equally entranced by the clothes, homes, and charm. I struggle to romanticize my life and often wonder how to make my own life more joyful and intentional. Your essay has paved a path towards helping me understand a little better how to do that. Also, my Mandy Moore aspirations live on to this day, ha!
You're so welcome. I appreciated and enjoyed reading this comment so much. Thanks for taking the time to write it!
I love to plan out outfits in my head...haha...often overdressed but one of the few things I don't feel a need to apologize for. Also, I love to look around my home and know that everything there is something I bought/loved/was given, etc...not because a decorator put it there or I thought I should buy for a special "look" but not really reflective of who I am. Anyway...loved this post.
Thank you, Nancy!