My head and shoulders I feel okay about. Knees and toes? I want to hide them at all costs.
I love that you referenced this childhood song. My kiddo sings it with glee and doesn't have any negative thoughts about her body. It's so pure. I wish it could stay that way.
Like so many things, having a kid has made me reconsider how I talk/think about my body. I'm the tallest in our family, which my daughter is fascinated by, and she's always calling me the "biggest." "Mom is the big one!" I know she means tall, and I know she means it as an observation or even a compliment, but it's telling how often I have to stop myself from making a comment or cringing when I hear that. Oof.
The sign of great writing = when you prompt others to think and share. Thanks, Olivia <3
Thank you so much for sharing and for the kind words, Katie.
As a life-long tall girl myself, I SO get this. The word "big" is soooo loaded, and I actually get anxious around little kids sometimes because they say things like this and to *ME* the word is so much more that just descriptive. Good for you for not demonizing it... I know it's hard, though.
Why is this a part of all of our stories? I am 60 and cursing my arms for not looking how I imagine them to be (see Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson) and dimissing my belly for being so jiggly and round. Just trotted a mile and lifted heavy weights, but still not enough. Once upon a time, I had a body.
Wow, Olivia. I have a toddler, a beautiful brilliant girl who is only 2. She knows the Head Shoulders Knees and Toes song. She is gorgeous and full of limbs and a soft belly and wild curls and has no cares in the world. I grew up being so, so hard on my body. Hating it at every turn. I'm at my highest adult weight, am having some health problems now due to it, and am trying to re-steer my own ship. I want to be a role model for my daughter - I want to just BE. To be content with myself.
This piece is beautiful and really, really struck a chord with me. Wow.
Oh, how much I wish I could go back to feeling like this. The other day, a friend and I had a discussion on whether we should all just accept feeling down about our bodies more often than not and go on with our lives OR if we should actively strive to be body neutral. I fall more in the second camp, but I also sometimes think that this is not possible and requires too much energy. Anyway, this year I'm just trying to be wear whatever summer clothes I like, show my shoulders and wear skirts I like. At least it's a beginning.
One time in college my roommates told me I was so lucky that my armpits only had one line fold when I put my arms down, and I have never felt an insecurity unfurl itself into my psyche faster. A real body of work to undo.
This is beautiful, Olivia! Reading your descriptions of yourself as a little girl took me back in time to when my own body was just a body too. It was crushing to slowly lose my own body to the opinions and judgments of others in middle school and beyond. Decades later, I still haven’t been able to shake the noise of my own brain and the world for it to return to being solely mine and more importantly, free. Hoping and wishing for freedom for all of us. <3
Wow this is beautiful. And it couldn’t resonate more. It’s sad how we lose the appreciation for our body - all the things it does for us, in place of what society tells us about our body - what’s good / what’s considered bad. Oh to go back to those days when you’re body was just a body, yet to be shaped by society’s opinions.
When my 5-year-old daughter puts on a bathing suit the only drama comes from the bathing suit failing to meet her standard of awesomeness (she’s not into straps). I want to postpone as long as possible the day when it’s her body that fails to meet the standard, but I’m terrified it will come even sooner than I imagine.
I’ve made a concentrated effort to not only not worry about big toe hair, but also not worry about shaving my legs before a pedicure. Have I been offered a leg wax? Yes. But I saw that for the blatant sexist-capitalist one two punch that it is! If they can shame us about our bodies they can sell us products and services to “fix” them. You’re doing great!
Beautiful. I wish we didn’t all relate.
I wish this too. <3
My head and shoulders I feel okay about. Knees and toes? I want to hide them at all costs.
I love that you referenced this childhood song. My kiddo sings it with glee and doesn't have any negative thoughts about her body. It's so pure. I wish it could stay that way.
Like so many things, having a kid has made me reconsider how I talk/think about my body. I'm the tallest in our family, which my daughter is fascinated by, and she's always calling me the "biggest." "Mom is the big one!" I know she means tall, and I know she means it as an observation or even a compliment, but it's telling how often I have to stop myself from making a comment or cringing when I hear that. Oof.
The sign of great writing = when you prompt others to think and share. Thanks, Olivia <3
Thank you so much for sharing and for the kind words, Katie.
As a life-long tall girl myself, I SO get this. The word "big" is soooo loaded, and I actually get anxious around little kids sometimes because they say things like this and to *ME* the word is so much more that just descriptive. Good for you for not demonizing it... I know it's hard, though.
Why is this a part of all of our stories? I am 60 and cursing my arms for not looking how I imagine them to be (see Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson) and dimissing my belly for being so jiggly and round. Just trotted a mile and lifted heavy weights, but still not enough. Once upon a time, I had a body.
Thank you for sharing, Darci. <3 It seems like we're all together in this in some many ways.
Wow, Olivia. I have a toddler, a beautiful brilliant girl who is only 2. She knows the Head Shoulders Knees and Toes song. She is gorgeous and full of limbs and a soft belly and wild curls and has no cares in the world. I grew up being so, so hard on my body. Hating it at every turn. I'm at my highest adult weight, am having some health problems now due to it, and am trying to re-steer my own ship. I want to be a role model for my daughter - I want to just BE. To be content with myself.
This piece is beautiful and really, really struck a chord with me. Wow.
Thank you, Amber. Your daughter is lucky to have you!
Oh, goodness. I feel these words deep in my middle-aged body and soul.
same, same.
Oh this is beautiful and so relatable, Olivia! Sending so many hugs to you and, really, all of us 💕💕
Thank you, Jenna!
Oh, how much I wish I could go back to feeling like this. The other day, a friend and I had a discussion on whether we should all just accept feeling down about our bodies more often than not and go on with our lives OR if we should actively strive to be body neutral. I fall more in the second camp, but I also sometimes think that this is not possible and requires too much energy. Anyway, this year I'm just trying to be wear whatever summer clothes I like, show my shoulders and wear skirts I like. At least it's a beginning.
That’s definitely a good beginning!
Thank you for this. I’m sure far too many of us were nodding along, knowing exactly what you meant with every word.
It's nice to know we're not alone!
Ugh, I wish I didn't feel this in my heart and soul as much as I do. So beautifully written as always!
Thank you so much.
One time in college my roommates told me I was so lucky that my armpits only had one line fold when I put my arms down, and I have never felt an insecurity unfurl itself into my psyche faster. A real body of work to undo.
It's wild to think of all the small phrases/words/comments that I still remember and probably always will. A lot to undo, indeed.
This is beautiful, Olivia! Reading your descriptions of yourself as a little girl took me back in time to when my own body was just a body too. It was crushing to slowly lose my own body to the opinions and judgments of others in middle school and beyond. Decades later, I still haven’t been able to shake the noise of my own brain and the world for it to return to being solely mine and more importantly, free. Hoping and wishing for freedom for all of us. <3
I'm right there with you. Hope for freedom indeed <3
Wow this is beautiful. And it couldn’t resonate more. It’s sad how we lose the appreciation for our body - all the things it does for us, in place of what society tells us about our body - what’s good / what’s considered bad. Oh to go back to those days when you’re body was just a body, yet to be shaped by society’s opinions.
Thank you, Maggie. Would love to go back to those days too.
Your personal essays, as always, fill the spaces I've felt alone in all my life.
Thank you for sharing. Grateful for your openness, sad that this is the relatable truth for so many (myself included).
Thank you so much, Sarah. You're so kind.
When my 5-year-old daughter puts on a bathing suit the only drama comes from the bathing suit failing to meet her standard of awesomeness (she’s not into straps). I want to postpone as long as possible the day when it’s her body that fails to meet the standard, but I’m terrified it will come even sooner than I imagine.
Honestly straps ARE annoying.
I’ve made a concentrated effort to not only not worry about big toe hair, but also not worry about shaving my legs before a pedicure. Have I been offered a leg wax? Yes. But I saw that for the blatant sexist-capitalist one two punch that it is! If they can shame us about our bodies they can sell us products and services to “fix” them. You’re doing great!
The cycle of creating things for us to hate, that we will then pay to 'fix' is soooo insidious.
Beautiful, Olivia–and all too familiar.
<3 <3 <3 Thank you.