I’ve been struggling with the dead zone too. We have a 3 year old and by the time she’s asleep our tanks are empty. We’ve been trying a couple new things though - I’ll cast NYT Connections to the TV and we do the puzzle together each night and we will watch any Reels we’ve sent each other through the day on the TV. It’s still scrolling but we’re interacting and it tends to spawn more conversation. Baby steps out of the dead zone!
This is such a great idea! Jake and I usually play the NYT games in bed before we go to sleep, but this is so much better (and less phone use in bed). Genius!
Speaking of other people’s careers as a benchmark, I think Danielle Steel was onto something: She cranked out three books a year and I read something about how she just…types all night. Like maybe even on a typewriter. The woman was just a machine, cranking out some new version of a story she’s produced a million times. Nothing new but she had a waiting audience thrilled to consume it! What a dream — no pressure on any level. Can you imagine??
But also kind of a sad life. She had a very colourful history that included marrying someone in jail. Five husbands. 7 biological children. Just a…lot. Not surprising she’s written two million books I guess.
I love this post! I’m with you on many of these ventures and appreciate how you defined creating more than consuming with things like cooking! I also struggle with the dead zone challenge, and something that has been helping me lately is an app called Opal that I subscribe to, and set locks on certain apps on my phone for certain times of day, including the 6 to 9pm window (I also do 6am to 11am in an effort to keep my mornings more mindful), it’s helped me immensely.
“…rather putting more time into creating my own world and life than absorbing everyone else’s.”
This line stopped my in my tracks. I sometimes feel as though I’ve wasted years and years prioritizing other people through social media instead of living my own life. It’s often difficult to avoid because it feels like everything is built around the internet and social media these days, but this is a good reminder that we don’t have to give up our own sense of self for the algorithm.
I’m so excited for SABI, I *almost* wish I was a book influencer to receive an ARC!!! This post resonated deeply with me… and I loved the experience of reading it. That is not surprising, however, given that I wrote about the pernicious impact social media had on my mental health when I was in private practice, just last night. I hope you check it out because I think you’ll find it interesting but also no pressure because as I wrote—autonomy over your time and attention is paramount.
One thing that's helped me with the scrolling is to leave the more "addictive" apps on my iPad or personal computer. That includes IG, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook. I still have Pinterest, Threads and Substack on my phone, and that helps me still feel connected but not out of control. I also have a goal to comment and engage more with content I'm consuming. All that to say I'm right there with you and trying to get my screen time under control. Thanks for posting, your writing is important. <3
I have been leaning into watching shows (ex: Drops of God, Shogun) and movies that are not in English, but subtitled. This forces me to _watch_ the show instead of getting distracted by all distracting opportunities.
I love everything about this, Olivia! I watch TV almost every night and I’ve found leaving my phone in the other room and choosing shows and movies I’m genuinely excited about makes it all feel more intentional and enjoyable. So then it’s something I intentionally enjoyed instead of just mindlessly consumed!
I've tried to do this more too. It's actually scary how many times I find myself reaching for my phone WHILE watching television. Putting it in the other room really puts things in perspective!
I’m constantly thinking about “wasting time” and how to better fit in the things I value (reading, walking my dog) over things I don’t (being on my phone). I spend a lot of time online window shopping or reading about skincare/beauty things, and I’ve always considered it time wasted. But I’ve been told to reframe that to thinking about it as a hobby and that I’m learning about things that can be useful. That has helped a lot, but I admit that Instagram still gets me so I do a semi regularly temporary app delete to get myself out of the habit!
I’ve been struggling with the dead zone too. We have a 3 year old and by the time she’s asleep our tanks are empty. We’ve been trying a couple new things though - I’ll cast NYT Connections to the TV and we do the puzzle together each night and we will watch any Reels we’ve sent each other through the day on the TV. It’s still scrolling but we’re interacting and it tends to spawn more conversation. Baby steps out of the dead zone!
This is such a great idea! Jake and I usually play the NYT games in bed before we go to sleep, but this is so much better (and less phone use in bed). Genius!
Speaking of other people’s careers as a benchmark, I think Danielle Steel was onto something: She cranked out three books a year and I read something about how she just…types all night. Like maybe even on a typewriter. The woman was just a machine, cranking out some new version of a story she’s produced a million times. Nothing new but she had a waiting audience thrilled to consume it! What a dream — no pressure on any level. Can you imagine??
But also kind of a sad life. She had a very colourful history that included marrying someone in jail. Five husbands. 7 biological children. Just a…lot. Not surprising she’s written two million books I guess.
Danielle Steel FASCINATES me.
I love this post! I’m with you on many of these ventures and appreciate how you defined creating more than consuming with things like cooking! I also struggle with the dead zone challenge, and something that has been helping me lately is an app called Opal that I subscribe to, and set locks on certain apps on my phone for certain times of day, including the 6 to 9pm window (I also do 6am to 11am in an effort to keep my mornings more mindful), it’s helped me immensely.
That sounds so helpful!! Thanks for sharing!
“…rather putting more time into creating my own world and life than absorbing everyone else’s.”
This line stopped my in my tracks. I sometimes feel as though I’ve wasted years and years prioritizing other people through social media instead of living my own life. It’s often difficult to avoid because it feels like everything is built around the internet and social media these days, but this is a good reminder that we don’t have to give up our own sense of self for the algorithm.
It's hard when the whole internet is conditioned to make us want MORE, MORE, MORE! But I'm glad I'm not the only one who struggles with this. <3
I’m so excited for SABI, I *almost* wish I was a book influencer to receive an ARC!!! This post resonated deeply with me… and I loved the experience of reading it. That is not surprising, however, given that I wrote about the pernicious impact social media had on my mental health when I was in private practice, just last night. I hope you check it out because I think you’ll find it interesting but also no pressure because as I wrote—autonomy over your time and attention is paramount.
Your excitement about SABI means so much to me, thank you!
Will definitely check out the post if I haven't already!
One thing that's helped me with the scrolling is to leave the more "addictive" apps on my iPad or personal computer. That includes IG, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook. I still have Pinterest, Threads and Substack on my phone, and that helps me still feel connected but not out of control. I also have a goal to comment and engage more with content I'm consuming. All that to say I'm right there with you and trying to get my screen time under control. Thanks for posting, your writing is important. <3
Super smart! May have to try this!
And thank YOU for reading!
I have been leaning into watching shows (ex: Drops of God, Shogun) and movies that are not in English, but subtitled. This forces me to _watch_ the show instead of getting distracted by all distracting opportunities.
I've heard incredible things about Shogun!!
Like you, I am also aiming to *create* more than I consume on social media. And this has been so beneficial for me! I loved this post, thank you!
Thank you for reading! I'm glad you can relate!
I love everything about this, Olivia! I watch TV almost every night and I’ve found leaving my phone in the other room and choosing shows and movies I’m genuinely excited about makes it all feel more intentional and enjoyable. So then it’s something I intentionally enjoyed instead of just mindlessly consumed!
I've tried to do this more too. It's actually scary how many times I find myself reaching for my phone WHILE watching television. Putting it in the other room really puts things in perspective!
Spot on with that deadzone dilemma! I've been thinking that part of my day, especially now that spring is arriving and weather is nicer.
I'm glad it's not just me <3
I’m constantly thinking about “wasting time” and how to better fit in the things I value (reading, walking my dog) over things I don’t (being on my phone). I spend a lot of time online window shopping or reading about skincare/beauty things, and I’ve always considered it time wasted. But I’ve been told to reframe that to thinking about it as a hobby and that I’m learning about things that can be useful. That has helped a lot, but I admit that Instagram still gets me so I do a semi regularly temporary app delete to get myself out of the habit!