Changed my life #3

Every social media habit I've overhauled in the last few years.

Psst: You can listen to me tell this whole story in the audio version of this post! Pop in your headphones, go for a walk, and let me tell you my deepest secrets, etc. etc.

Here is a story I have never really told in full:

A few years ago, after a postponed and a smaller-than-planned wedding, Jake and I went on our honeymoon.

I had spent most of the previous 18 months or so, the most locked-down months of the pandemic, sharing everything on Instagram. Every outfit, every trip to Target, every piece of mail, and (close to) every thought that went through my brain made it on my Instagram stories at some point. For the most part, I was having fun.

I was also making more money from social media, diving deep into affiliate link strategy and brand partnerships. On a whim, I pitched a resort in Mexico on the idea of a sponsored stay. I had never done this before, but I knew the publicist through my former job as an editor, and it felt like something I could be good at, especially when I would be sharing and curating every second of my trip, anyway. To my delight, the partnership was approved! We booked our tickets.

The first day of the trip was great. The all-inclusive resort was maybe not the exact one I would have chosen had I been paying for the trip myself, but it was nice enough. It was free. I drank unlimited frozen beverages and read books. I tagged the hotel group. I wore cute outfits and shared them.

On the second day, sitting on the patio before dinner, I got a message from someone on Instagram, a stranger. I read it instantly as I read most direct messages I got, since I was checking them 20, 30, 40 times a day. I don’t remember the exact wording, but the gist was simple: “Isn’t this the hotel that wouldn’t let that one actor get married there, because he was gay?”

My stomach dropped. I instantly replied with the truth, which is that I had never heard anything like that, then googled. I found more articles of the hotel group denying to host same-sex weddings. I panicked.

I’ve never been shy about my values, not online or in real life. I knew I would have never, ever stayed at the hotel had I known this information, free trip or not. It wouldn’t even have been a question. But now I was there, having committed to promoting this place on social media. I emailed the publicist, frantic, and consulted my best friends about what to do. I barely slept that night.

The next morning, the publicist called me, confirming the stories, then telling me about all the charitable acts of the hotel owner, explaining his religious background, trying to spin the whole thing as… fine. It was not fine. It would never be fine to me. I told her I couldn’t stay there or promote it. She said she understood, but asked me not to post about it on Instagram.

Jake and I found another hotel. We booked it, decided to think about the credit card bill later, got in a cab, and drove away. When we were settled at the (much better, by the way) new place, I explained to my followers about the situation — what I had learned, my regret, the choice to leave the hotel, the partnership. The fact that I had spent even 24 hours promoting this place made me ill.

One thing about me is that, generally, I don’t like confrontation or making people unhappy. It was uncomfortable for me to listen to the publicist plead with me to not talk about the situation publicly, then do it, anyway. But frankly, there are much harder things — like, say, being denied your dream wedding because of your sexual orientation. Ultimately, it was a stressful 24 hours, but it wasn’t really difficult. We had the means to leave. It was the only choice that aligned with my our values. We left. I wanted to use my platform to right my wrong, even if the wrong was unintentional. I shared the situation in a single Instagram story slide, apologized for my mistake, and moved on.

Well, sort of.